HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE MARIA...

Five years ago, when Shawn had the dream of a forest on fire and the fire break keeping the field of saplings safe, we knew that for long term change for the kids in our community we would have to start with the saplings. That’s why we started the preschool in 2018. The pandemic taught us however that, while it is better to start young, we couldn’t all together ignore the older kids or large trees that were already on fire. When we opened Mighty Oak Academy in January of 2021, we knew we couldn’t leave the older kids behind, so we capped our grade level at middle school to try to help some of the kids that had already been dealt a bad hand. When we opened in the fall of 2021 for our first full year, our middle school class of 6th and 7th graders were one of our largest classrooms. Parents were desperate to have another option for their students other than being sent across town to their designated public middle school. This year was no different, our biggest classes were our 6th and 7th grade classrooms, and only about half of those students were returning. We had doubled our enrollment and most of the new students were coming into middle school.

Middle school is an awkward age no matter where you live or who you are. Add on top of that awkwardness the challenges that come from living in our neighborhood and you have a unique set of circumstances that generate behaviors that would try even the most seasoned veteran educators. The kids in our neighborhood are used to people making promises and then not following through. They greet new people with a high level of skepticism and initially are going to test your commitment. It doesn’t help that for our returning middle schoolers, their teacher from last year, who decided not to return this year but told them he was leaving to start his own business, turned out to have accepted a teaching position at a catholic school across town. Their hurt and sense of betrayal at that deception brought up all the old familiar feelings of, “he just didn’t want to teach us,” “he just didn’t want to be with us, that’s why he left,” “we are too difficult to love,”etc. It’s a perfect storm of emotions, behaviors and circumstances that takes time to rebuild relationship and trust.

Shawn talking with the middle school boys.

The past couple of weeks we’ve had a lot of challenges with our middle school classes. From using racial slurs when talking to each other, to throwing grapes in the lunchroom, to yesterday destroying all our recently purchased silverware for the cafeteria, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Our educators are hanging in there, working to build relationships, but they are new, and it just takes time. Our returning middle schoolers are not pushing the boundaries quite as much as our new students, but they are all trying to figure themselves out and figure out what we as the adults in their life are all about. Can we be trusted? Do we love them? Are we going to just abandon them again like everyone else? Last night Shawn and I were enjoying the beautiful weather on our front porch and invited Nicole, James and Ethan over for dinner. As we all sat on the front porch and ate, we talked about the 7th grade class in particular. Shawn pointed out that last year at this time we were having more problems with our middle schoolers than we are now, and that a couple months later everyone settled down, it was just going to take some time.

Nicole then told me a story about one of our returning middle schoolers, Rilyn. Rilyn was in our 6th grade class last year and is now in our 7th grade class. We’ve known his family in the neighborhood since we moved here 7 years ago. He lives with his mom and his great aunt Betty. Betty told us when we started the school that she had been praying for us to start a school for years so that Rilyn would have somewhere to go other than JCPS. Rilyn flexed his muscles a little bit last year but didn’t get into any real trouble, he would occasionally talk back, but also didn’t try to intervene when other kids were doing things they shouldn’t. This week he was involved with the group of boys that were using racial slurs. While he didn’t use the slurs himself, Nicole called him, and all the boys involved into her office to go over our school family expectations again. At the end of the discussion, she asked Rilyn to stay. “You are a leader in your classroom,” she told him. “You’ve got to decide if you are going to influence your classmates for good, or if you are just going to sit back and let the world happen to you.”
“It’s my hope,” she said, “that in 10 years you are back here sitting in this office helping to run this school.”

“You really want me to come back?” he responded.
“Of course, I do! I want you to come back and help run this so in 10 years I can be relaxing on the beach,” she said. Rilyn just pondered that as he went back to his seat.
The next morning, he came into her office and asked, “Are you going to call in all the other boys today and tell them the same thing you told me?”
“Well, I might call them in to talk about something else, but I’m not going to tell them the same thing I told you.” she replied. Rilyn just looked at her and then pondered her response before he turned and walked back into class.

As I pondered this morning the events of this week, particularly with that class, a song from the Sound of Music popped into my head, “How do you solve a problem like Maria?” I pulled up the lyrics, and saw in them our 7th graders:

How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
Many a thing you know you’d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

Unpredictable as weather
She’s as flighty as a feather
She’s a darling! She’s a demon! She’s a lamb!
She is gentle! She is wild!
She’s a riddle! She’s a child!
She’s a headache! She’s an angel!
She’s a girl!
How do you solve a problem like Maria?

There are so many things about Maria, that are like our 7th graders. I can see so many beautiful things about them. They are like clouds and moonbeams and waves, flowing with the wind, trying to figure out life and how to be themselves. Shawn had another talk with all of the middle school boys this morning. He went over again our expectations for our students of how to be in community and be a part of the school family and asked them again if they wanted to be a part of this school and community. They all responded that they wanted to be a part of the community, they wanted to be in this school family.

It's not easy to put out a fire when you seem to be dealing with a forest full of self-combustible trees. Part of the reason we focus only on social emotional learning for the first month of school is to help our students learn what it means to be in community, to learn to trust us and each other. It’s something that is much more common in younger aged students like pre-school and kindergarten, but those social skills still need to be built no matter your age. We’re only year two into this endeavor of a school, but we’re year seven into building community. Day in and day out, If we keep loving our neighbors, loving our kids, loving our educators, that’s how you solve a problem like Maria.

FISH FRYDAY!

Today is Friday and we have the fish! Be sure to stop by today and get a fresh fish sandwich and side at the fishfry! We're open until 7pm!

2519 St Cecilia St
11am - 7pm
(502)-890-5988

CLASSROOM SCHOOL SUPPLY NEEDS...

If you are interested in volunteering or to find out more information about supplies needed please email: info@lovecityinc.org or call (502) 272-078.

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